It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday...

Have you ever had a wound that you just couldn't stop picking at, even though it hurt every single time you did it? If you haven't, then congratulations! - You are absolutely nothing like me.

Which may not be a bad thing necessarily. But I digress.

For the last two and a half days, I've had an emotional/psychological wound that I just can't stop picking at. I know I should - I know I should just step away - but I can't.

Let me explain. A Facebook page was started for my "class" in middle school. Call it a cohort, a bunch of kids who happened to born around the same time and ended up at the same school together - whatever. I was added to the group a couple of days ago, and I probably should have just politely left the group. But no,   I am one of those people who likes to poke that wound over and over again.

And my, oh my, do I have some crazy emotional wounds from middle school.

I know I said in my first post that I was going to be honest, but there are some things I still am not going to be upfront about. A good deal of that had to do with 2 out of the 3 years I was in middle school. A lot of stuff happened, a lot of it not good and beyond the pale of the typical awkward-pubescent-experience. But there are some things I am willing to be upfront about. Like having been bullied. My goodness, did some people have a field day with my awkward, giant-eyeglass-wearing, no-fashion-sense, head-always-in-a-book self.

There's a thread on that FB page about what your most embarrassing moment was in middle school. People have posted about various silly things they did that everyone laughed about. I have not contributed - no need to be Debbie Downer and point out that my most embarrassing moments were pretty much all instigated by the same people posting in that thread (or their friends).

Like I said, I really should stop poking.

I guess what makes things so much more painful is that my Older Boy is currently dealing with a bully. He starts kindergarten on Monday, and I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I look at his cheerful, bubbly self and think back to the little girl I used to be at that age - cheerful and bubbly. Before the bullies metaphorically knocked me to the ground.

I want to post on that board: "What the f*$k are you all smoking?!? Talking about how great junior high was? Or don't you all remember the nerds and peons you stomped into the ground with your comments and sneers?"

But that was over 20 years ago. Most of them have forgotten, I'm sure. Hell, I wish I could forget. One of the down sides to having a great memory is that you don't forget.

*sigh*

I've always wished that I could have stood up for myself more. That I would have stood up for myself more. I've wished that I could have said those things, as a 13-year-old, that I thought to say as a 20 or 30-something-year-old. I've grown up, gone on.

 I'm not that girl anymore

Mostly.

Maybe.

Or maybe she'll always be a part of me. A reminder, a remnant.

But I wish I could just forget and let go. Or at least just stop poking.

Motivational Moment #6

It sucks when life gets in the way of training (and blogging). Hoping this silly season will be over soon...1 week until the Mid-Atlantic Super Spartan and I am not ready...

Motivational Moment #5

I will never be the fastest or the strongest. But I will still be lapping everyone standing on the sidelines.

Motivational Moment #4

If you can get past the incorrect possessive, it's a pretty awesome sentiment.

Motivational Moment #3

My head has been giving up lately. Need to dial it back in...

Why I Don't Support Chick-Fil-A

So today is the unofficial Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day. Supporters of the fast food restaurant have been urged to turn out in droves to show their support for the company and it's stance on moral and ethical issues.

I can't believe I just wrote that sentence about a fast food joint.

You won't see me at Chick-Fil-A today, however. No sir, no ma'am. I am vehemently opposed to their stance on what I think is one of the major issues affecting Americans today. I feel like Chick-Fil-A's support for, or rather lack of support for, one of the big issues that is facing our ability to communicate freely and express who we are cannot be overlooked.

The issue I'm talking about, of course, is spelling.

People decry the poor spelling of young people today and attribute it to "text-speak." But I honestly think the corruption of our spelling ethic goes back farther than just the introduction of SMS texting. I think it can be traced back to the early 1960s, when Truett Cathy flaunted basic spelling rules and spelled his restaurant "Chick-Fil-A" instead of the orthographically correct "Chick Fillet"

Oh, the English teachers who must have wept upon seeing that sign.

But, it got worse. The Powers That Be behind this chicken franchise weren't satisfied with ruining the spelling of fillet. Their marketing campaign raised the desecration of the English to new heights.

It makes my former-copy-editor heart bleed just looking at the atrocious spelling.

And now, the chickens (so to speak) have come home roost, with an entire generation of children who can't spell correctly. Surrounded by billboards that exhort them to "Eat Mor Chikin," of course they will start to think it's okay to write sentences like "R U OK? L8R! LOL!" What a world, what a world!

So I hope you will stand with me today and say, "No! We will not support the ongoing corruption of the written English language! No, we will not continue down this road to destruction of the written word."

I won't rest until Chick-Fil-A issues an apology and corrects its spelling.

Eh, who am I kidding? I'll probably still rest before.

But I still won't eat more chicken.